How To Lead When Comfort Calls Your Name
Walk into any workplace, virtual or otherwise, and you’ll hear a familiar story. People are whizzing through their back-to-back schedules, drinking from the proverbial firehose, barely stopping to eat, and then collapsing on the sofa on Friday evening with whatever show they’ve been saving all week.
I get it, trust me, and I'm hearing this from those I share my keynotes with. We all need rest (and just ask me about historical dramas on TV, I am the Queen of Comfort Watching!) But, when our weeks leave no space, we begin to over-rely on comfort. It stops being a reward, and instead becomes a driver of our choices and behavior.
Fancy a HUG?
One of the clearest examples is "job hugging". I'm sure you've heard of this trend, which is really more of an instinct to hold tightly to a role, not because it’s fulfilling, but because the job market feels unpredictable and drawing attention to yourself feels risky. As someone who's experienced layoffs twice in my career, I get it, and it's often the responsible choice, especially when there are bills to pay. But, what happens when that sense of duty turns into a comfort habit?
This is where the Spark We Refuse to Be Controlled by Comfort from my book Born to Buzz, becomes helpful. It's not meant to be a judgment, more of a reminder to us to be intentional with how we harness comfort in our leadership and work.
What this Spark offers us at work
When comfort begins to dictate the scale of your ambition, or if it begins to chip away at your courage or even your daily mood, then you know it's getting a little bit too big for its boots.
Signs that comfort is taking over sound like: “I’ll just stick to what I know,” or “I don’t want to stand out right now.” Or, my personal favorite "I just don't know how to....abc/xyz.)
Ironically, these thoughts may feel safe in the moment, but over time they can limit our contribution and dramatically dull our energy. Choosing courage over comfort, even in small ways, opens up possibilities again. It reconnects us with momentum, progress and meaning. For leaders, this matters more than we often acknowledge.
Here are some examples of how this can play out in different parts of the workplace.
For leaders
Let people see what lights you up! When leaders talk honestly about what motivates them, it brings people closer and strengthens the sense of purpose in their team. Even a small example of passion, whether from inside or outside work, builds connection and gives others permission to show up more fully. That weekend "hobby" could humanize you to your direct reports, give you lessons to draw from, or funny stories to share. (Listen to my Passion Chats podcast episode with Kristi Jacobson about her love for waterskiing and how that fuels her career in finance!)
For teams
Create space for small stretches. Teams that aren’t ruled by comfort make room to actually change things. They ask questions like, “What’s one thing we could try that would help us make more progress?”, or “Who wants to have a go at something new?”
Even better, if you've created space for your teams to share what lights them up, then there will be more willingness to collaborate and create together. Why? Because sharing passions creates connection, even if the passion is imperfect, or lives totally outside of your job description. Think of it like the gel that can show team members that they're just as human as each other.
For high performers
Pay attention to where comfort hides (usually it loves to hang out inside competence). When you’re relied on for doing your job exceptionally well, it’s easy to stay with work that comes easily. It keeps everything moving, and you keep getting chosen (that always feels good, right?) but it can quickly narrow your sense of possibility, let alone your energy.
Now, I'm not advising you to quit your daily tasks and throw yourself into a brand new role that you instantly create chaos with (or worse, pull an Eat, Pray, Love!) The trick here is doing what you do well but USING that ability to create space to try something new.
Think about it: you're a proven expert. So, THAT knowledge should be your comfort, right? Hold that close, and keep sharing your strength AND keep growing.
One way to start (especially if you're feeling over-scheduled) is to give yourself one opportunity each quarter where you’re not the automatic expert. Yep, you heard me - you DON'T HAVE TO WIN! (not this time, anyway...)
Start with considering what that looks like for you:
Raising your hand to ask that question that no-one else wants to ask
Having coffee with that person you've secretly admired/been a bit scared of (we've all got one of those.)
Going to an event you wouldn't normally walk into alone...
You may be surprised at what you learn, and how it makes you feel. Note it down, and repeat next quarter.
A last reminder to add to your journal
Comfort will always have a place in our lives (I mean, what type of world would we live in otherwise?!) It helps us recover, reset and ENJOY life. But, if comfort becomes the default guide for our decisions, our careers and happiness can shrink to fit it.
When we create space for courage alongside comfort, we rediscover energy, creativity and the sense that our work genuinely matters.