Yes, ghosting hurts: here's how to handle it

Hello Passion Seeker!

My friend and I were chatting over coffee recently about a painful fact of life as Passion Seekers: ghosting. Not the Halloween kind, but that maddening silence when you reach out to someone and... nothing.

You've done all the brave work. You've identified your passion, you're putting it out there, and then BAM - the void stares back.

No responses to emails. Text messages vanishing into the ether. That potential client who seemed SO excited suddenly falls off the face of the planet. The gallery that said they'd be interested in your art…nada. The job application? Crickets.

I find this practice beyond concerning. On one level, it speaks to our collective overwhelm; people drowning under obligations, feeling crushed by responsibilities. We've all been there. 

But, let's be honest, some are willfully ghosting. They're literally looking at your message and making a split-second decision not to respond. We all know it, so when this happens to you, it can feel brutally personal and it can stop your passions in their tracks.

So, Passionados, to sustain our passions, we need a plan to fight the ghosts!

Here's what's helped me:

Try to remember that it's not about you. Make no mistake, ghosting is pure disrespect, and that is personal. But, it's highly likely that the other person's behaviour is not caused by you, nor is it your responsibility or problem to fix. 

Divert your light. Imagine physically picking up the spotlight you've been shining their way and pointing it somewhere new. This will continue to help you nurture your self-respect with confidence that you are in control.

Accept without drama. Ghosting, unfortunately, seems to be here to stay. So, as much as it's unfair, take these people off your active list. I'm not saying you should never contact them again, nor burn bridges with a giant F-you (oh, so tempting, but please don't, you'll thank me later), but just remove them from your sight. You never know, they may reappear, and then, you get to decide if you want to re-engage. 

Call them on it. Try asking: "When we spoke, you mentioned wanting X. What changed? I'd appreciate knowing where things stand." It's a fair request and gives the recipient an "out" by explaining the situation. Ideal? No. But, at least you get some closure.

Deafening silence can make you question everything. But remember, just because people aren't responding doesn't mean you're not being seen. And, when you're seen, you're inspiring others.

If you're being ghosted and thinking of giving up, KEEP GOING. We need your light in the world. We need your passion. It's only by continuing to share what you love that your passion will evolve and grow.

(And, when you're drowning in emails and obligations, remember how it feels to be ghosted. Even a quick "Thanks but completely swamped right now" can be kinder than silence. Breaking the ghosting cycle starts with us.)

Have you been ghosted on your passion journey? How did you handle it? Reply and let me know, I promise I won't ghost you back!

Laura

Founder, Passion Collective