Changing aspects of your life is WORK.
It can be hard to know where to start.
To help, we've curated our list of what works best. Try them out - and see how far you can go.
Get your head straight
So, you've gone to the empowering networking events, done the performance assessment your boss made you do, had numerous happy hours with friends, watched the tear-jerker videos on Facebook and are still no closer to figuring out what you actually want to do with your life. Frustrating, right?
Why? Dipping your toes in isn't going to cut it. You've got to get your hands - and heart - dirty.
This is where Danielle LaPorte comes in. A "self help guru" who feels like your best friend, Danielle has built a global community of people wanting to change their lives for the better - without the holier than thou, creepy sales guy approach.
What we love about Danielle LaPorte's "The Fire Starter Sessions" and "The Desire Map" books are their honesty (Danielle showcases her mistakes and insecurities in full glory), their approachability and the balance between compelling, jump-off-the-couch content and the expectation that you ACTUALLY HAVE TO DO SOME WORK TO MAKE PROGRESS.
This is a no-bullshit approach in the gentlest possible form.
If you're in a spot where you've been successful in your career, are GOOD at many things but have lost sight of what you actually enjoy, then Fire Starter Sessions is the best place to start. You reflect on what you love - and hate - then do exercises that help you sort through years of "should do-s" to figure out what lights you up.
If you're in planning mode and want to set goals for yourself that actually stick, then Desire Map is best. The Desire Map helps you set goals based on how you want to feel, rather than what you want to obtain or accomplish. (Think: "feeling accomplished" rather than "get promotion".) Once you have figured out your "Core Desired Feelings" you use them to guide your decisions and to evolve your plan as you grow.
Here's the thing. We often don't think we're worthy of our desires. We often think we just have to keep on going. We often are frozen with fear about things that don't even matter. And that stops us from being happy.
Figure out how you want to feel about your life, then create a plan around that.
It sounds too simple to be true, but it works, if you're willing to put in the time.
Decide on your "why"
Simon Sinek became instantly famous with his Ted Talk about leadership (29 million and counting..)
In 2016, he launched a program to help people figure out their "why" - their purpose. Navel-gazing it is not - it really does make sense. Why do we do everything we do? Why do certain things light us up, and others don't? What do we want to spend our energy on?
Learn your Why is a three part, interactive course that helps you create your Why Statement. You do some self reflection, share with a friend, then refine all of that into one statement that acts as your guide.
It isn't easy. But it's quite revealing and totally worth it. It's also a great compliment to The Desire Map.
Keep yourself motivated
When you're changing, you must stoke your own fire every day with many different tactics.
You cannot expect others to do it for you.
The good news is that the content is out there. Here are our favourites:
1. Sign up for Danielle LaPorte's Truth Bombs via email.
2. Do the same for Brene Brown's weekly COURAGEbombs - help give you that millisecond of focus as you start your day. Her books will also move you - try:
- "The Gifts of Imperfection" - if you're struggling with trying to be awesome, all of the time
- "Rising Strong" - if you're trying to get yourself back after a tough time
3. Get Notes from the Universe. Need to know the Universe has your back? Do this. You enter in a few details, and receive emails that are amazingly on point and remind you that you are not alone (Yes, the website looks cheesy, but trust us...)
4. Sign up for a free trial of Headspace and explore how meditation can help you calm down and focus your energies. Even if you don't get to it every day, even a few times a week helps ground you. And - you can do it with a "buddy".
Ask for help
Asking for help as you grow is essential. But many of us have been taught that asking for help is a sign of weakness. We strap our armor on each day and plough on regardless. Sometimes we don't even know the help we need. And other times, when we ask for help, people let us down, so we stop.
So, where do you start?
1. Amanda Palmer's book "The Art of Asking. How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help will help you take a breath and ask......her Ted Talk is a good introduction if you have less time.
Write it out
Share what you're doing or what you're interested in and you'll be amazed at how your confidence grows and how much support comes your way.
While you may start by worrying "what will people think", soon you will realize that people fall into two camps - they are either too busy with their own lives to notice, or they do notice and give you support.
Start with a no-pressure, easy to use platform like Medium and just write like you talk. Write about what you know. Write about the journey you're on. Use your voice and share what you want, when you want. Do not fret about it being perfect, or it even being "good". Just write.
Some posts will resonate with people, some might not. It doesn't matter - you're not doing this for them, you're doing it for you. Just keep writing.
Author Seth Godin talks here about why writing every day is important.
Share the love
Once people hear that you're changing things in your life, they'll want to know how you're doing it. You may begin to get offers for coffee meetings, or email advice. TAKE THEM, even if you feel that you are no expert, and you have only just started your journey. Sharing your story will not only inspire others but it will also help you to hear yourself out loud. It will give you confidence that at least you've started. And that you're moving forward.
One great way to do this is to come to a Passion Collective event. Our Even-Happier Hours and Buzz Sessions see women who are in many different stages of change, so you can help others while also getting advice for your own path.